This Thanksgiving was different than most I have had in my life. For only the fifth time in my 33 years, I spent Thanksgiving away from my blood family in Warren. I always love Thanksgiving and sharing time with my blood family, and surely miss them daily. But this year Thanksgiving was celebrated with love and family in a new way.
I have spent the past month building a new family, one of a few close friends that have shared in the journey of growth, new directions, and pure love. It's amazing to be surrounded by females, as most the summer I was surrounded by mostly male energy. We arrived to Grass Valley to stay at our sister Jewels home. We are living in the bus still, but parked in her backyard. We were pleasantly surprised to see Ashton and Brittany here when we arrived. They both were on the UptoUs Caravan to the DNC, and also went to Standing Rock with us in August. Immediately we felt at home. We had people around us who were so excited and supportive of our growing family, friends who we could be vulnerable with through our daily struggles. We encourage one another to grow and become the best versions of ourselves, but we respect each others processing and time of the growth. We laugh, we cry, we truly have the space 24/7 to be ourselves and know that those around us are lovingly supportive and yet also push us into areas of discomfort during the growth. We ask questions, we listen, and we believe in one another. So when Thanksgiving Day arrived, of coarse we were going to celebrate together!! The morning was pretty lazy, but we all prepared our dishes and gathered around sun down. It was an evening full of laughter and amazing food. I love meals when there is complete silence for a few moments because everyone is so engulfed in their plate. We celebrated our new little family, four couples all appearing very different on the outside, but all full of love. It was me and Leo (and baby which is finally really appearing to grow), Jewels and her husband Myk and their little 3 year old girl, Ashton and Brittany, and Zach and his partner. I looked around and was so happy. A true American Thanksgiving with a married couple and their child, two women in love, two men in love, and Leo and me, expecting our first child (not married). To think that in other families, or other times, that 3/4 of our relationships would be frowned down upon. I was so proud of our gathering, our love for each individual, our respect for all the partnerships, the realness of honoring everyone in the house. We don't all see eye to eye on everything, we don't all want the exact same things in life, BUT we do honor each others desires, dreams, needs, hopes, fears, and heart. Truly a Blessed Thanksgiving.
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When we found out we were expecting I grabbed a journal and starting writing to our child. Here is a sneak peek of this week:
Nov. 2nd, 2016 Your father and I left Standing Rock today. We spent only two nights there, sleeping in the Casino parking lot in our bus. We did spend yesterday at all three camps. We returned to Sacred Stone, where you were conceived and the went to Rose Bud to drop off donations, and visit our good friend Malia. She was so excited to find out about you. She gifted us a yellow Mauna Kea scarf from Auntie Pua. It will keep you safe and surrounded in prayer and sacredness of our Mother Earth. One thing Leo and I realized when returning to Sacred Stone camp was back in August the very first night we arrived, we were given an omen of your arrival into our lives. As we pulled to the entrance gate around 11pm, there was a mother horse (white) and her calf (darker) galloping wild along the gate. They were running free and we all (Uncle Ryan, Uncle Terry, & Auntie Kait) were amazed at the sigh. Looking back now it seems it was a gift of wisdom of what was to come. I will have to look into horse medicine. Nov. 6th, 2016 Thursday night we took you to your first concert since you've had ears. We went to Rising Appalachia in Boulder, Colorado. The show was great. I hope you find a passion like Leah and Chloe share in their music. I danced for the first time since you were 3 weeks. You are now 13 weeks, so I wonder what you felt and experienced inside my womb while I danced... Right now we are in Nevada and at a rest stop where we slept on the bus for the night. I have been enjoying the trip the past few days with your father. Although we've traveled our entire relationship, this is the first time it's been just the two of us. And really it's the three of us! Your dad has been awesome doing most of the driving and taking care of me to make sure I am warm and fed and able to rest. He's going to be a great dad to you. But just remember, this is our first time parenting. We will do our best (always), thats one of The Four Agreements, please read this book many times. We left Pennsylvania finally. It was so bitter sweet. I hate saying good bye. It's always such a challenge, especially when my grandma starts to cry. She told me this time when I left that "you are just like my own"...meaning it's like I am her daughter. She cried so many tears of joy when she found out we were pregnant. In 2015 she thought she was watching me die, and in a sense she was. So she was so happy to see me healthy and to be bringing her another great grand child. She never thought I would have children, and then after being ill, she never thought it would be possible. My Papa was also incredible while we were home. He helped Leo remodel the bus. Actually he did most of the remodeling because he is a perfectionist and worked all hours of the day. Often telling Leo to go home to take care of me and that he could do it all alone. He helped us add a table, comfy bench seats, another closet, a counter top and shelves. He also added a carpet, which I argued against spending the money on, but I am so grateful b/c it has kept the heat in the bus and I am able to walk around without shoes on. He is a blessing in my life, just like my grandma. I truly have the best grandparents ever...and only wish our baby could have met my Great Grandma Tillie and Granda Ruth, because they were just as incredible. I am sad to leave them, and even more sad accepting that none of my family will be with me during the birth of our baby. But I know in my heart that we are supposed to be in another location. And I can't force my family to visit (or even move) wherever I may be. I hope they will....but I have to accept that my kids may not see their blood family one tenth....or 1/100th of what I was blessed with. So we are on the road...finding our home...first grounded location is Grass Valley, California. We intend to be there until the holidays and hopefully sell the bus and head to Hawaii. BUT we are open to another location to feel like home and be our nesting place. |
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