I have found that there are many superficial pregnancy symptoms and experiences that are common knowledge to discuss. But what about the depths of what it really feels like and what it means for a woman during the process of growing another human inside of them.
We all have heard that pregnant women are hormonal, eat more, sleep more (or less if their bodies can't get comfortable), get tired easily, go through a nesting phase, have back pain, can get postpartum depression, have painful deliveries, pee a lot and more. But what does all of this really feel like deep down for the woman and what does it potentially all mean for them during the experience? Why don't we commonly discuss all the depths of the realities? It feels like everything remains superficial and the depths of the conversations around pregnancy are avoided.
But many of these questions get tossed to the side, and instead we focus on materialistic "needs". Baby showers and gifts, cute outfits, the best stroller, new mama gadgets, and we lose the attention that should be given to preparing our body, mind, and spirit for the path of motherhood/fatherhood. I have taken it upon myself to dive a little deeper. I have little knowledge or wisdom from others on the experience of becoming a mother that supports all the aspects of the real needs in preparing for birth, but I am digging deep within. I am observing emotions, fears, and actions and looking at the web of connections it has to my upbringing, all the positive and negative. I am trying to eat balanced, and when I have a craving that isn't the best, I at least try to fulfill it with the "healthy" version (chocolate, such a craving, but there are Gluten & Dairy Free Flax Brownie Muffins - Flax4Life brand which at least have Flax, Iron, Calcium and Fiber in them...). I have been going for self care at least once per week since March (third trimester) which includes massage, acupuncture, yoga, and chiropractic care. This is a huge help and all mamas need to find a way to make this happen once per week to help stay balanced. I have been practicing a few minutes here and there of breath work, thanks to yoga and other wisdom that has found me, the breathing will be essential not only for birthing but also for parenting. I talk about my emotions rather than avoid them, and release them as necessary. I read more, write more, set priorities so that my to do list is slowly taken care of and nothing seems overwhelming in one day. I clean a little bit at a time rather than expect to clean the whole house in one day. I look at where I may have stress and I find solutions to help eliminate it. For example, our puppy caused me some stress and I saw a friend selling a dog crate. I knew this would help me train her, and not ever have to come home to any kind of unexpected mess in the house (chewing or bathroom mess). I didn't want to spend the money, but I knew it would be so worth removing the stress from daily life. And it has been worth more than the dollar amount. It's funny how often we try to use money as an excuse on why we shouldn't do something that is good for us. Yet we can spend the money on things that are definitely not good for us without blinking an eye... Today and the past three days I have been extremely tired...so I am taking naps, breathing, coloring, and enjoying these last few weeks feeling a baby grow inside of me. I am asking for help when needed and minimizing any material "needs" to be sure my physical and emotional needs are met. I am connecting with Leo to strengthen our bond before birth. I am asking for help with the Meal Train and hope to get some meals provided for us after birth. I am preparing freezer meals as well to ease the first week or two after the baby is here. I am receiving healing sessions tomorrow and Monday. I am learning how to ask Leo for help without ordering him to do something in my set time frame. I am embracing the sunshine and extra moments laying in bed. I am envisioning the positive moments of birthing, the first view of the baby, the first noise he makes, and the first kiss Leo gives me with his son in my arms. So if you are pregnant or know someone who is, I encourage you to really look at some of the above questions and dive into the depths of your soul. No more superficial pregnancy conversations. Truly how are you doing? What do you need? How can you help yourself? How can you ask for real help? Blessings <3
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February 2018
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